Stupid group work

Ugh... It happened to me today. Sorry Pn. Rusmida, I think it as a disgrace. Seriously, you have just humiliated me in front of the whole class. Congratulations! Here, have my embarrassment as a trophy of your achievement. This incident only spurs me to hate BM more than ever.

While all the girls were picking their group members, I was trying my best to hold back my tears that dare to escape. I heard you cheerful voice saying names that weren't mine. how could you throw me away so easily without a hint of regret. Then the teacher's stares when you unintelligent beings loudly make known that I'm not in any group was hard to ignore. I remembered how cold I was during that moment, shivering despite the hot weather, biting the insides of my mouth until it bleeds.

But still, none of you guys noticed it right? The fake smile that plastered on my face, the shaking voice when I agreed to be placed in any group. No, I think a few people noticed it, but still choose to ignore it. I hate group work. Why can't the thief wound me a little, at least physical pains can make me forget the emotional ones.

Sigh... I'm so lonely. I hate this. I don't wanna talk to you again. You are the one who causes me to face such pains during this year. Forget about being honest to you again, I'm not that stupid. You don't deserve me anymore.

Painted mask version 1

I kinda like this uh.... Comic script. (is it?). Anyway! This kinda explains about me. It's not like that I'm saying I'm a demon in heart. Wait, isn't that true. Meh, back to my train of thoughts.

So they thought I'm a cowardly docile spoiled child. Well~ let me tell you this. I have to beg like a homeless kid every time I want something. I get my grades because I'm not a whining little brat like you guys are. I have been a loner ever since I was born due to the large age gaps between my siblings. And due to that, I'm not scared of you rich brats.

I've enough with people like them. That's why I'm writing this. I'm gonna write the things that I'm dying to shout at them. By "them", I mean those people who had hurt my feelings. Its not like it's a serious thing or something. it's just that somehow I realize that the longer I bottle my feelings up, the worser my mental state become. Hate is like poison, if you procrastinate in healing them, it slowly spreads and intoxicate you with its venomous toxin. Do you get it? You will change into a foolish paranoid person. Doubting everyone. Making you think more than you need.

To my former and current haters. I may look innocent, snobby, full of myself, confident and sometimes annoying. Well, I usually do not mind those thoughts because it's funny. For instance, "snobby". I'm not a social butterfly nor an anti-social, it just that I'm an awkward person. Plus I don't have any similar interest with my classmates. K-pop, whatever pop or in short, the entertainment world seems shallow to me. Getting obsessed with this so called 'art'-ists is foolish. Then gossiping like nosy middle aged women. Heh, I can list all the things that I think I can't negotiate with them. But that's another story.

I just want you guys to know that everything is not what it seems to be. Don't judge people too quickly. Put yourself in their shoes before you start judging them. I can see your flaw, but I still can list your good points. I believe that some people have good reasons of why they become like they are although the rest of them are just assholes who take life for granted.

Your artificial life won't last long. Why can't you guys understand what I'm trying to relay to you? Why must you choose to become an ignorant human? I'm merely thinking about each of you. Why can't you see it?

There is something I wanted to tell you guys. I forgive everyone. Today, good things happened to me and I finally see the beauty of trust and a world free from paranoia. I want to feel all those beautiful emotions. Remember this though, if you people step over the boundary one more time, I'll whirl my mask away and let you glimpse my other face. Ah, I feel good now.